When it comes to table manners and how to eat, the focus is usually on teaching young children good habits. But this post is for teens and grown-ups too — because, sadly, I see things that need to be said. Even my kids notice, as they pointed out one evening at dinner while on vacation this summer.
After reading this, observe how others eat and see if you notice too. These details are important — not only for politesse, but also for your health — and even your weight.
If none of this applies to you, take it with a grain of salt and pass it on — to the person who reaches their arm in front of you instead of simply asking, "Could you pass the salt?" (Just one of the many faux pas I see that disrupts my digestion.) Here are a few more important manners to remember.
Unless you're fending off wild animals, hold a knife gently — with your forefinger resting along the top. A knife is more than a cutting tool. When used well, it helps you eat slowly and get just the right amount. A slower pace gives your stomach time to signal to your brain that you're full. It also helps organize food on your plate, making the meal more visually appealing — and ultimately more pleasurable and satisfying.
If you're gripping your fork like you're digging a trench — or you see someone doing it — we have a problem. It leads to just what a shovel does: shoveling in food. This manner of eating leads to poor digestion, and eating too fast, and likely too much. Neither is good for weight management or digestive health.
Instead of leaving your napkin on the table, place it on your lap. Of course, we can still use it if it is within reach, but placing the napkin in the lap is for more than just protecting your clothing. It's a symbol and a signal.
A symbol of respect for mealtimes, for food, and for coming to the table. A signal to take a moment to breathe, to pause before eating. To signal to your body to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, and let it know it is time to "rest and digest." It only takes a few seconds and a breath or two to prepare to eat, and the napkin placement gives you an opportunity to settle in.
It’s both meaningful and polite to wait to start eating until everyone at the table has been served — unless the person who prepared the meal says, “Please go ahead and start.” Waiting to begin shows respect not only for the food but also for those who prepared it. It also helps bring everyone together, creating a shared moment to appreciate the meal.
Much like placing your napkin on your lap, this brief pause gives your body a chance to settle, signaling that it’s time to relax and truly enjoy the meal ahead.
No one wants an arm in their face. If something is out of reach, just ask to have it passed your way. Meals aren't a race, and we can wait a few seconds for someone to pass something over instead of reaching to grab it. A brief pause in the meal — even just a few seconds here and there — slows down the pace of a meal, which, as I've said, has multiple benefits.
Maintaining good table manners isn’t about being “fancy,” and it’s not just for special meals. Manners are about being thoughtful — toward yourself and others. They help set a natural pace for eating, giving your body time to register fullness, support digestion, and encourage more mindful choices.
Simple habits — sitting up straight, putting your utensils down between bites, and enjoying conversation between courses — all help you slow down, savor your food, and stop when you’re satisfied, not stuffed.
These small, everyday gestures make a real difference. When you eat with care and attention, you’re more likely to eat well — and eating well supports a healthy weight and better overall health.
Manners aren't just about being polite — they help create a pleasurable experience at the table. They shape meals into something more intentional, more enjoyable, and ultimately more satisfying.
The more satisfaction and pleasure you take in a meal, the less likely you are to crave snacks or feel tempted to nibble between meals. When a meal truly satisfies, it carries you further.
Often, it's the little things that matter most. So set the example for those around you — and if you see someone forgetting their manners, just gently pass them the salt.
