My husband and I both grew up with dessert as a part of dinner. And dessert didn't mean "treat." It just meant the last course.
In France and Italy, dessert is simply the finish — part of a meal. It's not a guilty pleasure or a bribe, just part of dinner.
For me, most often my parents put a bowl of fresh nuts on the table to crack, and my dad sliced an apple for the family to share. About twice a week, a sweet treat was offered — like an amaretto cookie or a small scoop of vanilla ice cream with mint syrup.
For my husband, in France the meal almost always included a simple cheese course after the main dish, perhaps also followed by nuts and fruit and also occasionally a sweet treat as well. But it was always something. Il faut une douceur, as my mother-in-law would say — you need a little something sweet to finish the meal. And it's logical.
In American culture, a lot of people skip dessert and then have a snack a few hours after dinner. Most often, they're looking for that little sweet bite, but it's rarely true hunger and more of a mental craving for satisfaction. But when you offer dessert at the end of a meal — even just a nibble of fruit or chocolate — it activates physiological signals. This sweet finish is satisfying and it aids the digestive rhythm without leading to overindulgence later.
It's more logical — and healthier — to enjoy that "snack" as dessert with the meal. Your digestive system is already activated from dinner. Then after dessert you can rest, digest, and repeat tomorrow.
For children, this rhythm teaches something important — that food is good: vegetables and dessert, all of it. A sweet ending is not a bribe or a cheat. And if a child isn't eating their dinner, they're not hungry enough for dessert. No drama. Just a simple understanding: meals have a rhythm, and we respect that rhythm together.
Adding dessert to a meal also fosters a positive relationship with food. We stop seeing food as something to deny ourselves or feel guilty about. Instead, we enjoy it as part of a balanced meal. That's dessert — just good food enjoyed at the right time.
Dessert can be practical too and help you make an easy dinner. A simple dessert gives you one more way to round out the meal — another way to fill little bellies without relying on second helpings of pasta or needing to make a side dish. It's something else to offer, something to look forward to — and here’s a bonus: dessert gives you a few more minutes at the table, helping to keep the conversation going.
The other night, I pulled blinis from the freezer to serve for dinner. My family helped me by looking in the fridge. We topped the blinis with things we found in there: smoked salmon, crème fraîche, and chives, dill … leftover roast chicken and a little parsley. Good enough, I said. I made a quick cucumber salad, and we had banana splits for dessert! Just bananas, a bit of ice cream, strawberries, and a dollop of whipped cream. Not bad for no cooking, I thought.
Everyone made their own banana splits — and dinner was easy. We talked. We laughed.
That's what else dessert is meant to do — round out the meal, and extend its end to give us time to connect.
Banana splits on a Tuesday night, with leftovers, how fun!
I find the best (and most important) conversations often happen over dessert.
If you want to start offering dessert, keep a few simple ingredients on hand: a good bar of chocolate, some fruit, and fresh nuts — kids love cracking them. One apple, sliced and shared, is a sweet ending and creates a moment to sit and talk. So here's to blinis and bananas. To fruit with chocolate. To dessert as part of life. And to raising children who see food and mealtimes as something delicious, exciting, and full of possibility.
That's one of the best benefits of dessert —
The time at the table.
