In the U.S., much of the advice around feeding kids involves tricks or games, which can turn mealtime into a tiring negotiation. Hiding vegetables. Cutting food into shapes. Promising dessert if they eat their dinner.
In this post, I'll share an approach that doesn't involve extra effort, bribery, or turning on an iPad or TV while they’re eating — we'll just do what the French and Italian parents do.
In France and Italy, they feed kids real food, on a regular schedule, and they sit down to eat it together.
No tricks. No "kid food." No extra work for you. Just rhythm, repetition, and routine.
The result is that French and Italian kids learn to eat vegetables without having a meltdown and develop a real taste, appreciation, and respect for food.
If you wonder if this is really possible, I promise you it is. I lived it growing up, I raised three "good eaters," and I’ve witnessed French and Italian children at the table for over thirty-five years. So yes, it's possible.
Imagine raising a child who eats lentils, roast beets, and herbs without a complaint. Not because you tricked them. Not because you bribed them with dessert. But because they learned to eat — just like they learned to walk, talk, and sleep.
In Europe, good eating isn't a personality trait. It's an education and a habit. And the lessons begin at birth.
In France and Italy, mealtimes aren't chaotic or improvised. They're part of the daily rhythm. Parents sit down to eat with their children. They serve fresh food at regular times. No negotiations or separate meals for children.
To begin, we need to shift the focus not just to what kids eat but how they eat — and how we eat too. How food is offered. How meals unfold. How we act at the table. Because kids learn how to eat the same way they learn everything else — by watching us.
The child sees their family members eating vegetables, soup, and dessert — and over time, they do the same. There's no lecture, no pressure, no reward for cleaning their plate. Just quiet modeling and calm repetition.
If your own habits could use a little adjustment, this is the moment.
Start with one of these small shifts:
Create the habit you want your child to grow into. Let them see that food is not just fuel or a fight. It's a routine — and a daily pleasure.
If you want to raise a child who eats well, show them what that looks like.
Developing a taste for real flavor starts with the first bite.
In the U.S., many babies are introduced to food through bland cereals, plain purées, and jarred blends that don't have much taste. The idea is to "start simple" — but if a baby gets used to blandness, when are they supposed to fall in love with flavor? And how much harder will that transition be later?
In France and Italy, babies don't eat "baby food." They eat what the family eats — puréed, mashed, or cut small, but full of flavor from the start.
They're tasting garlic, herbs, lemon, and fresh vegetables simmered in broth. Those flavors become part of their earliest food memories.
When my daughter was a baby, her first meat dish was flank steak with garlic pepper sauce, grilled asparagus, and roasted potatoes with parsley — all puréed. I put a small batch of what we had for dinner into a mini food processor, fed her a few spoonfuls, and froze the rest in ice cube trays — alongside puréed peaches, peas, and whatever else we were eating. It didn't take much effort. I was simply puréeing a bit of what we were eating.
This routine continued: cook, purée, freeze. Then I could pop out a few cubes of "baby food" from the ice cube trays, let them thaw, and baby's multicourse meal was ready!
French and Italian parents don't expect their kids to love every food right away — they simply expect that learning to eat well is part of growing up. It's a process, not a battle.
Children will grow into certain flavors — or not. If they don't like something, move on and try the next thing. Come back to that food later. When kids have choices of fresh, flavorful food, and it's exciting for everyone to eat together, they learn to appreciate what’s good. Eventually, many things will get a thumbs up.
I raised a picky eater (too often he put his nose up instead of his thumb), but the routine of trying new foods and the rhythm of the table set him up with good eating habits and an adventurous palate. I know it can be frustrating when a child is picky, but not limiting yourself to a small menu of certain foods will pay off. Now that my son’s a teen, after he’s out, he comes home to eat and passes on the drive-thru with his friends — even when he's hungry.
So, it will pay off.
To help create rhythm and offer variety without overwhelm, try serving meals in courses. This may sound like more work, but it's actually easier on many levels.
Think small, simple, and varied.
Start the meal with a light first course — soup, salad, fresh veggies and dip or olive oil, or even a purée. Follow with the main dish, and optionally finish with cheese, fruit, nuts, or a special sweet treat — dessert is just part of the meal!
When you serve this way, you can include no-cook courses like charcuterie, salads, and leftovers — which are especially helpful to pull together a quick meal. Eating in courses offers variety to please everyone and gives kids options to try — and alternatives.
It's French and Italian style for all ages!
When the daily rhythm is predictable, children learn routine and know what to expect. And it's important that they are hungry when it's time to eat.
Instead of grazing, serving three meals a day along with one snack in the afternoon — le goûter — gives them the calories and sustenance they need, helping them come to the table hungry and ready to eat. And they appreciate the meal.
If they nibble all day long, there's no real appetite for dinner or appreciation for food, and dinner stops feeling important and exciting.
We are the models, and we set the table culture. How we speak about food and posture ourselves at the table sets the tone around mealtimes for our children.
How we eat is a lifestyle. A culture. Instead of relying on kids' menus and searching for the best organic, prepared, and packaged foods, we'll have more success when we put the effort into serving simple, fresh foods that we like to eat — like vegetable purée, clafoutis, and fruit salads.
Even if your child only eats a few bites, the act of sitting at the table, watching you eat, listening to food language — it all matters.
The family table is not just for eating; it's where children learn manners, vocabulary, social skills, conversational skills, share their feelings, solve problems — and make memories.
Meals aren't just about nutrition; they're about connection and fun!
If you want to start a new routine around mealtimes, take a moment to reset your table culture and your table.
If you have older children who struggle with being interested in eating well, I have another piece coming that will help you shift their eating habits — you can also write to me with questions.
Tap on the picture to view the caption and, if available, the link to the recipe.
